IvyFanboy
[11] Champion
Since you're all pros since having read my elaborate and incredibly true guide on grabs and ring outs, you're ready to move on to the next plateau. This guide will take you from offline pro to online tourny pro, admired and respected by all as you fight the world, not just whatever scrub happens to arrive in Vegas each Evo. This technique was crafted during the time of Bruce Lee who once quoted “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times”. Yes, you too can strike fear into the mighty Bruce Lee from beyond the grave with the powerful and ancient secrets of..."Spamming". *que gong*
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Spamming: Spamming is often regarded by scrubs as button mashing the same abusive moves over and over until you get lucky and it works. Well that's stupid, If it were button mashing different moves would be coming out you twits. No, what's really happening here is a skilled player is displaying his skillful skills by skillfully executing a precise and skilled movement repeatedly to the length said skills can carry said skilled move skillfully through to the unskilled opponent. This is clearly a demonstration that the player knows exactly what this move is and knows you have a specific weakness to it. To use unnecessary moves would showcase the act as random and accidental or worse display an act of mercy in a fighting game. Rather than learn a whole list of useless move you need only to pick out a select few that work. The other moves are merely there to distract scrubs and make it apparent they couldn't decipher the exclusive pro list. You should focus day and night at perfecting the 'spam", but beware. Unfortunately, once again, after extensive research, hookers, and research as to what said hooker gave to said writer I have found fatal flaws to this most elite of techniques. Rest easy Mr. Lee.
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Now we've learned a few things here. We've made note spamming is of course the standard for elitism and will never be disputed, however, we have also learned that there are ancient tactics forged as a direct counter. I do warn to be sparing of these tactic as they are so powerful it often causes the hardware to buckle in amazement and can lead to the internet connection dropping mid match! The console simply cannot handle the fact that spam can be beaten and will deny you your glory. In fact it will often send you an error message thinly disguised as a plea to stop using lag tactics by the player you just robbed a match from. So it is with this last sentence I urge you all to use "clean" spamming while online, as the possibility of a person using such recklace counter tactics is impossible...I mean sheer fucking impossible.
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Spamming: Spamming is often regarded by scrubs as button mashing the same abusive moves over and over until you get lucky and it works. Well that's stupid, If it were button mashing different moves would be coming out you twits. No, what's really happening here is a skilled player is displaying his skillful skills by skillfully executing a precise and skilled movement repeatedly to the length said skills can carry said skilled move skillfully through to the unskilled opponent. This is clearly a demonstration that the player knows exactly what this move is and knows you have a specific weakness to it. To use unnecessary moves would showcase the act as random and accidental or worse display an act of mercy in a fighting game. Rather than learn a whole list of useless move you need only to pick out a select few that work. The other moves are merely there to distract scrubs and make it apparent they couldn't decipher the exclusive pro list. You should focus day and night at perfecting the 'spam", but beware. Unfortunately, once again, after extensive research, hookers, and research as to what said hooker gave to said writer I have found fatal flaws to this most elite of techniques. Rest easy Mr. Lee.
- LESSON 1: Unlike the last article where I asked my readers to attain psychic powers to cancel grabs, you wont need that power here. Like your favorite internet stalker, you can rely on this move to always be there...watching persistently...BTW shout out to Impending_Doom66. Now you can take this opportunity to ride the Darwin train and evolve to a point where you can properly defend against this move at least once. Whether it be a sidestep, GI, CH interrupt, crouch, or jump there is always an answer. Do your best to take these skills into battle and face your foe head on. But naturally I don't expect you to succeed with reacting in time, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this now would you? Take your beating like the gimp you are and do what shenanigans of an attempt as you will, but my advice for this lesson is to apply it to a mix up. A spammer knows what move will destroy you, so at anytime they are given a mix up they will set aside all silly possibilities and go for the one they know will work...except it wont. Yes, by giving up your ideals that clearly outline reaction is skills +1, you will realize that by automatically predicting the move, you can just mindlessly do the counter you've practiced and stop it. If you repeat this enough they'll be disillusioned and feel the need to go back to inferior tactics and play on par with your skills.
- - LESSON 2: Deep in Texas it was once stated a man approached Chuck Norris and said he feared not his infinite roundhouses and proceeded to challenge him. It was at this time that the man attempted to block a roundhouse only to learn Chuck Norris could also do a spinning hook kick. Baffled the man spent his last moment reflecting on the possibility that an opponent could make spam into a mix up and trick the opponent into reacting wrong. Today we call this tactic "training". The idea is to repeat a scenario and when your opponent catches on, switch. This will lead them to fall right into your next list of skilled moves you can repeat. The solution here is to choose your counter options wisely. If the moves you expect in the mixup have a common solution amongst all the more unique ones, side with that. If you can't cover all grounds, decide which options are less damaging to accept and don't worry about it. A common mistake is to have Gi as a loaded answer to a mid and forget you can GI both a mid AND a low with a 3Gi in the event the mix up is a mid or a low. In the case of Chuck Norris the common solution was not fucking with Chuck Norris.
- - LESSON 3: Despite the racial profiling that asians all know 1337 Kung Fu and math, it is truthfully known that they all know 1337 Kung Fu OR math, thus is the reason we do not have ninja accountants. What I mean to say here is that your opponent of excellent digital martial arts has failed to do their frame math and realize most great spammable moves are unsafe. If Mitsu runs at you with a barrage of 1A he will most definitely bring you to the floor each time, but if you get lucky and block it, he suffers -15 on block. The combo you use here can outweigh the damage the move has accumulated and make your opponent hesitant to use it too often.
- - LESSON 4: Now my last tid bit of advice will be the only tactic to in fact out shine "spamming" itself. This tactic is of course the "counter spam". The idea here is to spam your own move that directly defeats the move of the opponent. When fighting a Kilik who spams grounded moves, I take note of Ivy's giraffe legs and step back and repeat SW 1_2_3B+K till I've made enough new orifices to host an 8way (tee-fuckin-hee boys and girls). In their focus of using their amazing move, they failed to realize I'm more amazing and being more amazing i use more amazing moves. I can keep spamming this happy penetration marathon till he finally concedes and is forced to stand up with G and not uber cool A+B for the fifth time.
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Now we've learned a few things here. We've made note spamming is of course the standard for elitism and will never be disputed, however, we have also learned that there are ancient tactics forged as a direct counter. I do warn to be sparing of these tactic as they are so powerful it often causes the hardware to buckle in amazement and can lead to the internet connection dropping mid match! The console simply cannot handle the fact that spam can be beaten and will deny you your glory. In fact it will often send you an error message thinly disguised as a plea to stop using lag tactics by the player you just robbed a match from. So it is with this last sentence I urge you all to use "clean" spamming while online, as the possibility of a person using such recklace counter tactics is impossible...I mean sheer fucking impossible.
